Life is GREAT!

Those of you who know me know that I've been in a REAL funk lately...for a few weeks now. Well...in the last couple of days, I've decided to put it ALL in God's hands and what will be will be. I have my own thoughts as to how I'd like my life to move forward...I've spent many hours/days in prayer...and now it's up to God. God is GREAT, and He's never let me down before so I don't expect he will this time either. He's in the small stuff...the smallest details of our lives, working miracles. In light of our economic environment, I try to remind myself on a minute by minute basis that I am one of the lucky ones...I have a JOB, and I don't worry too much about paying the bills. In addition, I have a great family and some very good friends who love and care about me. Life can always be better but it's never as bad as we sometimes try to make ourselves believe.

Until next time...

A Chapter Ends

Well, two more nights on an air mattress in an empty house and then...new beginnings. It seems like I've been moving for months. If I never see another cardboard box or piece of bubble wrap ever again, that will be just fine with me. I've been living without all my "stuff" for almost two weeks now. First it was rooms full of boxes, now it's just empty rooms. It is rather melancholy as I sit here and look around at what was once my/our dream house. This is where I thought I would grow old with my husband, where I expected my family and friends to come together and celebrate many more joyous occasions...Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthdays, watching 4th of July fireworks and gorgeous sunsets from our deck. I will always treasure the time we spent here...as a couple, and as a family.

Until next time...

I Survived Turning 50

Well...I'm back from Hawaii...sicker than a dog...but, VERY happy I got to spend my 50th birthday in Hawaii with the people I love most.

The day itself was a fun, very laid back kind of day. Just the way an "older" person would want to spend the day. The day really got started with a lazy walk on the beach and then a Catamaran ride. Then it was back to the hotel, change clothes quickly, and go for what I thought was a "snack" before dinner. Yeah right...waiting at Jimmy Buffets restaurant were my beautiful KeeKee and her family, my fav aunt and uncle, my wonderful mom, and my cousin sarah and her family. I'd post the picture of me in the hat my aunt made for me but Kirsten has it (send me the jpeg KeeKee). It's totally hillarious. And, what about the pink t-shirt from Rick and Kirsten that says "It's a crime to be this hot at 50". Nice...guys.

Anyway, the day was everything I'd hoped for and then some...thanks everyone for making it so special. For me personally, moving into the next decade definitly starts a new chapter in my life. One that I am SO looking forward to.

Until next time...

"not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You’re as old as you feel." - Elizabeth Arden

Turning 50

I've always associated 50 with longevity. My grandparents and great-grandparents were married for 50 years...now that's a LONG time to spend with one person. I wonder what it's like to wake up every morning for 50 years and see the same face staring back at you.

I must say I'm truly looking forward to 50. I feel more fit, attractive, capable, and in charge of my life at almost 50 than I have at any other age. The one concern I have is menopause and what affects it will have on me. You see, I recently started having hot flashes. It's the weirdest sensation ever. It's like a slow crawling prickly heat that completely envelops you. Before you know it, you're sporting tiny beads of sweat in the most obvious places. You can literally feel yourself turning red. It's completely embarrassing. You're sure that while it's happening everyone in the room is noticing. This assumption is validated for you when someone looks over at you and says..."having a hot flash?" I really need to do some Internet research to find out how to minimize these episodes. I've heard lots of Soy. Vanilla Soymilk will become my new best friend.

Then there's the night sweats. YUCK! There is nothing worse than waking up completely drenched in your own sweat and kicking off the blankets, only to find that 30 seconds later your freezing to death and can't get back under the covers fast enough. Oh wait...first you have to get up and put on a "dry" tank top.

To top it all off, there's the memory loss. You're having an intelligent conversation with someone and all of a sudden, you stop mid-sentence because you can't remember what it was you were going to say. Common words and recent memories completely escape you. It's VERY frustrating...I wonder if there is such a thing as menopause anonymous meetings???

It's just not fair what we as women have to go through to be done with having babies. Geez! You'd think that after having to endure child birth (some women for some insane reason do this over and over and over again...like Octomom), and years of having periods, that someone somewhere would cut us some slack. Whoever said women are the weaker sex??? Men...you have no idea how easy you have it.

Until next time...

The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause: Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and All Dried Up. (Too bad I couldn't snag the pics...there are hillarious)

A Shopping Nightmare or Dream

There is nothing more annoying than making a purchase only to find it 1 month later for $75 less at a higher end discount store 1,000 miles from where you bought it...go figure! How does that happen??? UGH! I recently bought this rockin watch at Macy's for $135 only to find it at Nordstrom's Rack this past weekend for $60. I was NOT happy. Being at Nordstrom's Rack this past weekend was like hitting the lottery for a shopaholic. They had Coach sunglasses for $65/pair, Juicy perfume for $40/bottle, etc., etc. If you wanted a pair of designer jeans, this was the weekend to be at Norstrom's Rack. Lucky jeans were $35/pair (normally $100-$125), Rockin Rupublic were $125 (normally $250-$280), and True Religeon were $100 (normally $250). However, the day was not a total shopping loss as I did manage to score a SAWEET Ed Hardy belt for $40 (normally $85), so I was VERY happy.

Until next time...

"We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops." - Henny Youngman

The Most Amazing Valentines Day

Even though it's late, I feel compelled to blog about my Valentine's Day weekend. I flew to Seattle to see a friend who is near and dear to my heart. I had the opportunity to meet his 15 year old daughter, Kailey, who is a pure joy to be around. She is so cute and so precious. Even at 15 you just want to reach out and pinch her cheeks she's so darn cute. For me to say that you know it's true...I have three beautiful grandkids so I KNOW what cute is. Valentine's night he made tacos (and we ate them...go figure), we watched Forget Paris (if you haven't seen it, rent it...it's hilariously funny), and ate popcorn (diet popcorn at that...it tasted kind of like cardboard but oh well, I picked it out). Sunday morning we went to church together and then Bible study. What a great way to end the weekend. Another great part of the weekend was all the laughter and all the connecting we did. So far it's been an amazing journey...

Until next time...

You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence. - Psalms 16: 11

Serious No More

I've decided that my blogs are way too serious and it's time to whoop it up a little. So, here goes...I recently got a new iPod. She's pink...and her name is Isabelle. THANK YOU KeeKee! The fact that I've named my iPod frightens me a little and makes me think that someone has WAY too much influence over me. However, only because I "allow" him to. You see, I have a friend (a very "good" friend) who names everything. He recently named his daughter's new car "Mellow", which I think (but could be wrong as it does happen once in a while), is short for Marshmellow (I believe the vehicle is white...at least I hope so with a name like that). The one before that was named Panties...don't ask...I didn't. But go figure. He also had a hot tub named "Molly"...I think. He probably has a nickname for me as well...I just don't remember what it is...oh wait a minute...maybe I do...oh....nope...false alarm...I am almost 50...16 days and counting...YIKES!

Until the next time...Make Tomorrow a GREAT DAY!

Love Extraordinaire

Love can sometimes be a very frustrating and confusing thing but when it's right, it's the most beautiful and fulfilling life experience of all. When you are loved unconditionally by someone, it is the most extraordinary feeling. It's a perfectly safe place to be. It is amazingly satisfying to know that you are completely understood by the one who loves you. To know that there IS someone out there who puts you first, who believes that your happiness is more important than his or hers, who wants to give you the world, who tells you (and makes you truly believe) that without you in their life it would not be complete. And to be able to reciprocate that...well, it's one of life's greatest joys.

Until next time...

"When you are in Love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams." Dr Seuss

It's complicated and sometimes confusing...

Isn't it strange how we find ourselves in a place we never thought we'd be? We move through life, day-by-day, thinking we're doing all the right things in order to create the life we all feel we deserve...only to realize, that God has a different plan in mind. Lately, I spend a lot of time trying to figure out just what his plan is for me. There are so many things I have to be thankful for...a job I thoroughly enjoy, a beautiful family, friends who love me and actually care how I'm doing when they ask,and endless opportunities (that I only need to take advantage of) to do whatever I want to do in life. So why then, do I find myself always contemplating what my next move will be. I think it's because life is WAY more complicated than any of us care to believe. Just when I think I have all the answers, something happens and I realize I don't have any of the answers at all. All I can tell myself is to take it slow, one day at a time, and it will all work itself out. Somehow, some way, my life will end up exactly the way God intended. What more can I ask for???

Until later...

The most decisive actions of our life ... are most often unconsidered actions. Andre Gide

Life without my iPod

My iPod died. I am SO sad. My iPod is my workout buddy. What will I do without my iPod? Maybe someone out there knows what the flashing between the green and amber lights means??? Anyone??? I've followed all the troubleshooting steps on the Apple website and nothing has worked. Until I can get a replacement, my workouts will not be the same...no Lisa, Creed, Nickleback, Colbie, Michael, Blake, Lifehouse, Pink, Fergie, etc...i yi yi...can you tell I'm somewhat addicted to my iPod??? My workouts will be...BORING...!!! I love my iPod so much I feel like it should have a name...like...I don't know...Irene or Ilene or Isabelle??? I have a friend who names everything from his hot tub to his car. A little weird...ya think? Endearing though. Well, if any of you out there have any ideas as to what might be ailing my iPod...or if you think she's a goner, please reply. I'm open to ALL suggestions. I'll try anything!

Oh, and BTW, what's up with the Cardinals losing the Super Bowl...poor Warner.

A Night Out

Last night my friend Stephanie invited me out to meet some of her work cronies at a place called Landmark, which is a trendy restaurant/bar in Newport Beach. I had forgotten what the social scene is all about. It was an interesting but fun time. We laughed a lot on the way down, had a little dinner (and a martini or two), then headed for the bar area where we found her friend George who was working a blonde. Apparently, George has the hots for blondes. And, after he pointed out the one in the purple dress, I'm sure it's "any" blonde. I don't believe there's a whole lot of predetermined criteria (if any) that goes into his decision-making process as to which blonde it will be on any given night.

I desperately needed a fun night out so "Thanks Steph". I was reminded of one thing though...and that is...why being single or in a committed relationship is SO much better than the dating scene. Not to mention, the ratio of women to men is totally skewed. Good luck finding Mr. Right.

Until next time...

Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.
~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859

Being Blessed is a Wonderful Thing

In general, as human beings, we spend so much time complaining about what we don't have that we tend to forget just how blessed we really are.

There are SO many things in my life that I feel blessed to have experienced. Here's my list:

#1 The birth of my daughter...30 years ago...that has been by far the most joyous event in my life, and she continues to fill my life with a joy that I could never have imagined possible.

#2 The birth of my granddaughter...it's so wonderous to see your own child become this amazing parent...at that moment you realize there are SO many things you did right...I can't wait for her to begin to experience the same realization.

#3 The love of my Grandparents (Elvon and Chlorean). Their love was amazing...I miss them more than words can express.

#4 The chance to go back to school and get my degree. Graduating from college was always a dream of mine and one day it finally came true.

#5 Seeing my daughter graduate from college and move on to get her MBA. I am so proud...Kirsten you are an amazing woman.

#6 Connecting with another human being in a way that I didn't think was possible. It's an amazing thing when you meet that one person in your life who exceeds all your expectations...who moves you beyond what you thought you were capable of.

#7 Parents who love me, were always there for me, and continue to be my biggest supporters. Dad...I know you're always with me...and Mom...thank you for always being there.

#8 A truely remarkable relationship with our Heavenly Father. My faith grows deeper and stronger with each passing day. He's taken my heart and shown me the right way.

#9 Good friends...they are irreplaceable. Only your best girlfriends can truely relate.

#10 Life...it's a glorious thing...we should all be greatful and count our blessings each and every day.

These top ten are not in any order. They are just the first ten things that came to mind. To me, each one is as important as the next. It's a good exercise to spend some time reflecting on what's most important to us, and just how truely blessed we really are.

Until the next time...

"Love is unselfishly choosing for another's highest good." C S Lewis

My Inspiration

As I was standing on my deck the other night (it was just a little past dusk), I looked up into the sky and it was by far the most beautiful sky I had ever seen. (See the picture to the left.) The sun was behind these mysterious looking clouds and the city lights were just beginning to twinkle. I was completely overwhelmed by the beauty of it all. I felt inspired.

You meet few people in life who have the ability to inspire others. I have been lucky enough in life to have been inspired by those I hold closest to my heart. My biggest inspiration is our Heavenly Father. One of my favorite scriptures is Philippians 4:13..."I can do all things through him who strengthens me".

Others who have inspired me the most in my life are my Mother...she is the MOST caring, gentlest person I've ever known. She IS the family caretaker. First she took care of my Dad until he lost his battle with lung cancer, and then she took care of my Grandmother who also lost her battle with cancer, never once complaining. She truly is one of God's angels.

My Grandmother...she was a woman of great substance. She loved her family deeply, and she was always so proud of even our smallest accomplishments. She always stood by us, whether we were right or wrong, and never let us forget how much she loved us. She was an extraordinary person with a zest for life.

Then, there is my beautiful daughter. Some days I am overwhelmingly inspired by her drive and motivation. She has one of the truest hearts I've ever known...with her, it's a forever thing. She is a great wife and a fantastic mother. She makes me VERY proud. Every day with her is an "experience". She has an uncanny ability to make you smile...or crack up laughing...even when you are mad at the world.

I am completely inspired by those who no matter what is going on in their life, they are living it to the fullest. That person goes out of his way to make others feel special. ..even if he doesn't. When he engages you in conversation, you're so stimulated you're mesmerized. ..he doesn't realize it but you'd follow him anywhere. He always seems so centered, so at peace with everything He makes you want what he has. If you're lucky enough to meet just one person of this caliber in your lifetime...grab hold and don't let go...he will make an extraordinary difference in your life...help you achieve your fullest potential, and take you places you never thought you'd go.

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." Henry David Thoreau

Family

My Dad always told me that when no one else is there for you, family always will be. He was right. When I think about the times in my life when I needed someone to be there (including the current), it was always some family member...Parents, Grandparents, Aunt, Uncle, and most recently my beautiful daughter. Family is a wonderful thing. ..we should never take family for granted. We should make sure they always know how much they are loved and appreciated.

I love big family gatherings. There is nothing more precious than walking into a room full of family and being able to feel the love that surrounds you. It can be overwhelming at times but who says too much warm and fuzzy is not a good thing...not me. That's one of the reasons I get SO excited when the holidays roll around. One can usually be assured that during the holidays, there will not only be enormous amounts of food (that has been lovingly prepared), but also plenty of family around to eat the enormous amounts of food. I LOVE that! (Can you say Steak or Congo bars anyone?)

The other great thing about family is they love you for who you are...who you were...and who you will be. My Parents and Grandparents (specifically Grandparents) have always been my biggest fans. They have always encouraged me, believed in me, and helped me realize my fullest potential...and even though my current person is not the entirety of who I will be in this lifetime, I'm well on my way to being that person. I truly believe my life can be whatever I want it to be because of their admiration, love, and support.

Even though my Dad and my Grandparents have moved on, I know they are with me every day, every step of the way. I can feel it. As I work through my own personal challenges, I am confident that everything will be okay because I have their love and support. I'm also SO thankful for my daughter who is (and always has been) one of my very best friends. She helps me keep things in perspective and... keep it all very real.

So, with all that said, make sure you tell your family (on a daily basis) how much you love and appreciate them. We are who we are because they've loved us.

In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.-- Eva Burrows

Relationships

Relationships are hard. Whether it's your Mother, your children, a friend, co-worker, or a man, all those relationships come with challenges. However, I would say that men and children always seem to be the most difficult. Maybe that's because those are the relationships we hold closest to our hearts.



Any of us who are parents know that the sun rises and sets on our children. We take a chance living vicariously through them, and hope they will be all that we never were. We love our children and just "know" they can do no wrong...that is...until they prove us wrong. But even then, we forgive and forget, and at some point they turn out to be the happy, productive human beings we have always known them to be. Eventually, they make us proud and we are proud to say that's my son or daughter.



Men on the other hand...well, that whole situation leaves a lot to be desired at times. Just when you think you've met your soul mate, fallen in love with the right guy, met your prince charming...your whole world comes crashing down around you. What is it with men anyway? Why are they so complacent? Why are they so unaware? What makes them think they are SO much more special than the women in their lives? I'll tell you...it's us...the women in their lives. We build our world around them...make them feel special...make them feel like they are the "center" of our universe...and for what? Just to be ignored, ridiculed, taken for granted, and abused...not necessarily physically, but mentally, emotionally, etc. Did we not learn anything from the women who came before us? We women need to understand that we deserve to be adored, worshiped, admired, and most of all respected. Many of us not only take care of house/home, children and a husband but we work too! All women should spend some quality time reflecting on their situations and validating that they are where they should be and with the man who makes them feel special. Don't sell yourself short...take everything that's rightfully yours and settle for nothing less.


“There are three constants in life... change, choice and principles.” Stephen R. Covey

My World According to Me

As I quickly approach the big "50" I think a lot about the future and what it holds. I also think a lot about where I've been and what I've managed to accomplish in my life. I have decided I am extremely proud of the person I've become.

Approximately 15 months ago, I decided I wanted to be a "healthy old person". So, I called Becca, my infamous trainer. Becca is great and doesn't pull any punches. You do what she says...OR ELSE! A little scary I know. Even though she's a bit militant, between her ability to boss me around (the workouts were brutal or at least that's what my brain was telling me), my ability to succumb to her bossiness, and her convincing me that for every carb I ate I had to eat a protein (yes, she actually convinced me of that)...all of that coupled with my desire to be fit and even more stunningly beautiful than I already was (just my opinion), together we were able to create a masterpiece...yes that's right...a masterpiece... now known (by those who know me) as the "New and Improved "Me". Who would have thought that 5-6 small meals every day is WAY better for you than one meal a day consisting of a big honkin slab of ribs, french fries, and a heaping scoop of macaroni salad loaded with mayonnaise coupled with 2-3 dirty martinis? Well, I'm definitely proof of that...33 lbs later, 3 sizes smaller, and who knows how many inches (I've lost track), you should take my word for it. I believe I should dedicate this blog to Becca. So Becca...this one's for you (and of course Tosca Reno and her "Eat Clean Diet")!

At this point in my life, being me is SO awesome. I love being me, and I love that the people in my life love me being me. Life rocks!

I have a beautiful daughter who has given me a beautiful granddaughter (if you know me then you already know that). My life is filled with joy, good friends, lots of good times, and most of all a Heavenly Father who I know loves me just the way I am.

In these tough times we are all enduring, my best advice is to strive every day to be the best "You" you can be. No one can ask for or expect anything more than that. I believe that if we all do that then everything else will work itself out, and in the end, we will be VERY pleased with the results.

"We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey." Stephen R. Covey

Life

Life...what can I say...we all have our ups and downs but overall...being here on earth is the happiest place to be...other than the eternal place beyond this life, which we all know is far superior.

So far, the end of 2008 and the beginning of 2009 have been outstanding! On December 11, 2008, Kaci Elizabeth Kandrach, my first Grandchild, was born. I can't begin to adequately express the feeling that overwhelmed me the first time I held her. Looking into her eyes I felt a love that was beyond anything I had ever experienced. She is amazingly beautiful, and so sweet. I am SO blessed. She IS the bright spot in my life!

Now, for the rest of life...what is up with people who just don't get it??? You can explain in detail the point you're trying to make and they still claim complete and total ignorance. Maybe...it's because they are. Who knows? Just when you are about to lose all hope that there are other intelligent human beings (like yourself), populating the earth, someone extraordinay walks into your life. You step back, take note, and say to yourself...is this person for real? As you get to know this person you realize how easy relationships can be. You've finally encountered another human being you can easily laugh with, have serious life discussions with, and converse with in an intelligent and stimulating fashion. You begin to realize that there are other people out there beside yourself who have hopes, dreams, and aspire to do great things in their life. Second best is not an option for them, just like it's not an option for you. It's like "WOW", is this for real? You pinch yourself (sometimes until you're black/blue), second guess yourself (until you make yourself crazy trying to figure it all out), question your ability to judge character, and then you finally realize, that this person really and truely is exactly what and who you think they are. A down to earth, completely real, first rate human being that cares as much about life as you do. There is hope after all. So, my advice to all of you who have gone through this same experience...seize the moment...for however long it lasts, because it only comes along once in a lifetime.

Remember, "Be the change you want to see in the world..." (Gandhi).